Missing Korea

It is almost three months now. It will be officially three months on March 23.
I miss S. Korea very much. I miss the sights, the noise, the people, the food...and yes, the smell.
I feel like I'm drowning, suffocating, and losing myself to this complex and dog-eat-dog world.
As I reflect back on my experiences in South Korea, I realized that Korea was the only place where I didn't have to be myself. Or, I can be myself. I had a choice.

Coming back home was more difficult than I expected. I came back to a totally living environment. A dorm where a roommate had already established herself. My roommate in S.Korea definately was the best. Ah well, what can I do? It's like I'm just living chapter by chapter. Pretty soon, this chapter of my life will be done.

South Korea. I've been retracing my steps...walking up the streets of Yonsei University, smelling the god-awful smell of ovulating ginko trees, and observing the leaves turning color. I pictured myself stolling down Ewdae shopping district, stopping by the little stalls, and buying myself a waffle. How I miss South Korea.

My one regret? I regret that I didn't say a proper good bye to South Korea and I regret that I didn't get a chance to volunteer at the orphanages.

All can really say is that... I went, I saw, and I changed.

Two Weeks Anniversary

The ride back didn't took as long as it was on the ride there. South Korea-Tokyo-MN. It was a smooth transition. The dorky thing about it was that I packed too much. Usually when I travel via plane I don't have a carry on, but this time I did- a small suitcase and it was heavy too. Let's just say that I was very blessed to have a friend and some nice people with me on the flight back home. Home land security was a pain in the butt. First, the security guard made fun of me because I had three very large suitcases. Second, they were extremely heavy and I'm 5 feet (I tell myself). Third, all of them feel right before the door that led to the family waiting area. Yep, they all dumped onto the floor. There was a nice man that helped me "put it all together again" (humpty dumpty). As I was walking out the door, it was like everything was in slow motion. I looked around for my family knowing that they were just as anxious to see me. It was funny because no one recognized me (keep in mind that I've always had my hair down to my hips and now it was shoulder length...plus I had bangs). I had to call them so that they know me.....hehe. My dad said that I looked Korean! My parents. neice, and sister picked me up at the airport.
It's been over two weeks since I've been back to the United States. South Korea seems to bee a distant dream, in fact- it was if I've never been therebefore. Souvenirs are gone, Christmas is over, life re-starts again. South Korea was a moment in time. In fact, does life really re-starts again. As one of the many sayings go- "life happens when you are not looking". South Korea is life. One chapter closes and the next one opens. *sigh.
The most accurately word to explain what I am feeling right now is a "heavy heart". It's not depression, not re-entry cultural shock, it's just a "heavy heart". As I look out my window at home, the snow blankets the ground and life hibernates until the next coming of the spring. Yesterday I finally to look over the things I brought home with me. Traveling is such a bittersweet feeling. One part of you wants to stay and the other part wants to go back home. Wouldn't it be cool if we have a easily morphable transportable machine where we can easily flash home and back in minutes? It happens in TV...why not in real life? Maybe except the dinonsaurs part : ) Everything is the same as before I ever left. Except for some minor changes, everything is the same.
I'm leaving for Mexico today. Completely different from South Korea but it takes my mind of this "heavy heart" of mine. A new adventure....a new story.

Farewell South Korea. Until we meet again.

Finale...with a not so "big bang"

For all those Korean Kpop fans...you'll understand the pun of "big bang".
Anyways, today was full. I'm trying to do as many things as I can before sunday arrives. Tieing loose ends as some would say.

Anways, Angela, Morgan and I went to "Dr. Fish". This is a cafe where you order cake and a drink and as an extra treat, you get to stick you feet into water containing "Turkey Fish or Chinese Fish" and get the dry skin of your feet peck off. It was one of the most awesome experiences in S.K. I was super scared but quickly got use to the nibblings and vibrations coming from these tiny fish. After my feet felt very good. The cafe even have nail polish too...for free...to paint your nails or toe nails. The only bad thing that happened was that my right foot got stabbed in the sink (after finishing and washing my feet) by the silver stopper. My foot didn't bleed a lot and didn't hurt as much til right at this moment as I am typing this post. After, my roommate and I went to Nandaemun to grab a luggage for me. Then we met up with friends at 6pm to go toghether for HYORI CONCERT!

HYORI's official concert was supposed to be tomorrow 12/20 but since the tickets sold out so fast, they opened up 12/19. There was rumor that Big Bang was going to be there tonight but unfortunately they didn't appear. Hyori didn't mention it at the concert but guess what she did mention? Rain!! Rain will be performing tomorrow with her. Now after hearing that I'll miss his concert by one day was very heartbreaking. Not only was Big Bang not there, Rain will be performing tomorrow night (ah. so close yet so far).

There was a good turn out for the concert. The audience members suprised me a lot. There was a mix of old and young people.Some of them were very pushing. We got there late because we happened to be on the subway when someone suicide and so the trains stopped running to clean out the mess. There has been a lot of suicides by jumping and getting hit by the train.

Anyways, the stage was super close. S. Koreans were so tall that I could barely see. We first tried to get to the stage but then it was so crowded that I just went to the back. My two other friends made it to the front though...after some pushing and shoving. The stage was very close so I got a close view. I just wish that there was some policy about how short people should have the right away in concert situations. The concert was super long. It started at 8:30pm (officially 8pm) and wenttil about 11:30pm. There were other guess appearances but I wasn't very impressed- I just wish that Big Bang and Rain were there. It would have made my entire year! Hyori's concert was very sensual. It was a concert that I would not take my kids to. The funny thing was that I saw a children there. Think Briney Spears...and then imagine an Asian women who wants to be like Brit and so goes the extra mile to be like Brit. Yep, I was dissappointed that their wasn't more creativity and originality behind the performance. Overall, it was a good experience!

Ahh... I'm super tired. We didn't get back til 1amish because it was so hard to catch a taxi and so we caught blue bus 470 (luckily and suprisingly it still ran).

NeaR the End

It's unbelievable how times fly so fast when you are not looking. My time here in South Korea felt like such a long time when I first got here but now, it's only 1 day left til I go home. It's sad. I felt like I've made a life here in S. Korea...school, friends, my favorit restaurant, the cheapest place to shop...this chapter of my life is really closing.

Like I said before, South Korea feels like a "moment in time" where I got away from the realities of life for just a moment, and now I'm forced back into the worrying-about-my-future- plans again. Here, in South Korea, I can relax and learn how to appreciate and observe things that are happening around me. At home, I'm so caught up in school and family that I lose myself. It' s funny how it takes going miles away from home and comfort zone to find yourself.

Walking the path I took to school everyday, riding the blue bus 171, and walking the steep stairs of Yonsei brings a "wuff...back to waking up 5 minutes before class, wearing sandles and running over, and still be 2 minutes early" kinda of feeling. But then, I'm going to miss the pond with the goldfish, or the ahjumanies stealing acorns, and definately sense of style (heels....hehe). I've made great friends here in South Korea. The saddest part about leaving is saying goodbye to the people that you've gotten to know deeply. Goodbye is the hardest words to say because you'll never know when you'll meet again.

Finals is done and over with! The most stressful final was Korean Language oral examination. Wow....!! It was just dang hard. I'll be so nervous for it that I won't pay attention to the writing exam until my oral is done with. Yep...it's that bad. I adore my Korean language professor. I realized that she was the only one that knew our study habbits, our personalities, etc. We see her everyday for two hours- and it's sad because out of all the people here in Korea, she probably knew me the most.

The thing I love about S. Korea is that students can have hang out with the prefessors. The professors actually invite you to have tea, lunch or dinner with them. Some of the students even went to a prof's wedding. Now how cool was that. I and a classmate went for a brunch with my Modern History Korean prof and then my whole Korean Langauge class went out to dinner with our Korean Language professor at an Indian restaurant in Sinchon. It's cool to see the profs out of their teaching norms and just be people with the students. Profs' personalities here are so very cute. Everything about S. Korea is very cute! The interesting part about taking exams here in S. Korea is that the prof don't show up for the exam itself but has a random student give out the test. An exam day is like a prof's day off! So the sucky part of it is that if we have questions while taking the exam then basically we must fend for ourselves.

It's sad, so sad. One more day left in S. K.

And the Blind shall LEAD

Sorrow has found me this day.
Sadness left its mark and it's never going away.
Tears in my heart, burning like a acid-
Creating a hole so deep, impossible to heal.

Sitting on the subway
A world of fun awaits- just a few more stops
Lotte World.

Man gets on.
Middle aged, back bent, Legs distorted
In pain
Grunts, incoherent words
I don't understand.

I am afriad.
My eyes lower, ashamed.
Piece of paper-Korean
Onto my lap.

What does it say?
Others looks away- No help there.

Out of the corners of my eyes-
Man leans over rail
Is He crying? Or is it the sweat of pain
dripping down his face?

Man comes back
I hand the paper back

A stolen glimpse of his broken face-
Pain, desolation, suffering
Wanting.
A broken MAN.

A broken ME.

This experience has touched me so deep, I have no way to explain it coherently. I hope that my poem speaks for itself.